You Could Have Fooled Me

4/1/2015

The Lay of the Land

By Lyn Messersmith

You Could Have Fooled Me

            And you can, pretty often. I tend to think people mean what they say; often only realizing the comment was a subtle joke when my response draws a look that conveys the person is thinking he should have known I wouldn’t get it. Most people are polite enough not to sigh disgustedly in conjunction with “the look,” or ask if I used to be blonde.

            There are worse character defects than being too literal, and I have my share of those too, but I really do appreciate humor that sneaks in the back way because it implies common ground, and that solutions to human dilemmas are often found in unusual places. Laughing at ourselves helps to diffuse the sheepish feeling that we’ve been had. Again.

            All my life, people have told me stuff that turned out not to be so. Examples:

            “You’ll understand that when you’re older.”

            “I’m telling you this for your own good.”

            “You’ll never regret buying this product.”

            “You can keep your doctor…”

            “This won’t affect your tax status.”

            “Our website is secure.”

            “Those emails can’t be retrieved.”

            “Daylight Savings Time allows more time for recreation.” (Not if I’m too tired from getting up in the dark to stay up for the fun.)

            On the other hand, a degree of discernment does arrive with the wrinkles. Some might label it cynicism, but whatever you call it, I’m grateful to now know these things are true.

            “We’ll have to pass it to know what’s in it.”

            “If elected, I promise to fundamentally change America.”

            A candidate who claims to represent constituents with a background of burgers, once elected, tends to line up with whichever faction will buy them the biggest steak. 

            Not everyone says what they really mean.

People who do say what they really mean aren’t very popular.

I’m more willing every year to be unpopular.

Planting garden in the Sandhills before Memorial Day is a chancy deal.

The Sandhills are full of folks who have learned to laugh at themselves.

The other kind never stays long. Thanks for staying.