Expect the Unexpected

 

4/8/2015

The Lay of the Land

By Lyn Messersmith

Expect the Unexpected

        It’s nice when someone holds the door, or wishes us a good day, partly because it’s unexpected. A guy at the gas station not only wishes me a good day, but asks how I’m doing. I wait in a particular line at the grocery store because Larry always checks the egg carton by opening it and turning the eggs upside down to look for cracks. When I expressed appreciation, he said proudly, “Thanks, I’m the only one I know who does that.” It made me wonder how many of his customers thank him for going the extra mile.

        Most of us expect certain things to happen, and are surprised or angry when our expectations aren’t met. It’d be nice to sail along assuming everyone is doing his or her job, but we all need to be held accountable. If we fail to ask questions, confront discrepancies, or go out on a limb for our priorities, we can expect messy consequences.

       For a number of years, a rancher rented out an extra house on his place. His operation has changed and it’s needed for full time help, but tenants have trashed the place, making a complete remodel necessary. I’m sure the owner assumed that his several renters were being responsible caretakers. The assumption cost him dearly, as well as causing inconvenience and a lot of elbow grease for the people who hope to take up residence in a timely manner.

        We’ve all seen television interviews where college students were unable to answer questions about current events. I’ve always thought the interviewer purposely edited the programming so as to make us believe that public education is in the tank. Ratings, you know…

That’s until I heard of someone who asked local Honor Society students which nations the United States fought in the Revolutionary, Civil, Vietnam, and Korean wars. They didn’t know. When confronted about this, the local history teacher said, “We don’t teach that____ anymore.” Graduate students at a large university didn’t know the answers either.

        So, when did we stop requiring students to know the price someone paid for their right to remain ignorant? Why do we hire instructors who call our country’s history a word I can’t use in this family newspaper? These youngsters are voting, or soon will be eligible to, but probably won’t bother. That is, unless they decide to run for office, which is even scarier.

The students aren’t to blame. I hated history too, in school; all those dates and battles to memorize, not to mention the Preamble, and Gettysburg Address. My teachers didn’t care if I hated it. They cared that I learned it.

            My parents didn’t care if I wanted to pick up my messes, put things back where they belonged, and help with chores. Whining didn’t faze them, but consequences for failing to carry out orders made an impression on me, and affect how I live to this day.

            Responsibility for the trashed house falls directly on the owner, who ought to have been checking up on his tenants, rather than believing they knew better than to desecrate someone else’s property. Perhaps they did, but didn’t care. Or maybe no one taught them that_____ either.

 Do you ask your kids what they learned in school today? Do you mention Grandpa’s military service, emphasize that war means putting one’s life on the line, talk about the ideologies that our country fought against, and that we have the freedoms we enjoy as a result of someone’s sacrifice? Do they know the California drought and cold winter in the South will affect the price of their food, and perhaps mean adjusting the family budget? Do they see you offer a hand and thank a policeman, or serviceman or woman? Do you communicate with school personnel and elected representatives?

            A sixteen year old totaled his car one week after getting his license. Unhurt, and unrepentant, he inquired when he would get another vehicle. His parent said not soon; made mention of insurance rates, and mortgage payments.

“Mortgage, what’s that mean?” Explanations weren’t cutting it. “Well,” he said, “You just go out and buy a house. That’s the way it works.” The mom said when she was in school they learned to figure budgets, interest rates, and such, but guesses nowadays, not so much.

A mother corrected her son’s grammar. “But everyone at school says it that way,” the youngster argued. Mom acknowledged this, but explained that if the child got used to speaking improperly, his job opportunities as an adult would be limited. I’m pretty sure the eleven year old brushed off that reasoning, and is likely to use the slang speech again. I also expect the infraction will be gently corrected every time it occurs in the parent’s presence, and that the young man’s future will be brighter because of a parent who pays attention.

We shouldn’t assume that people are doing the things we expect of them. Nobody likes to be checked up on, but we’d be wise to make our expectations clear and keep a finger in the pie.