Who’s Coming to Dinner?

3/25/2015

The Lay of the Land

By Lyn Messersmith

Who’s Coming to Dinner?

            Speaking of food, as we were last week, has me thinking about the rebellion among students when hot lunch programs were adapted to Mrs. Obama’s standards. Although I have reservations about the content of those menus, and how they were implemented, it should come as no surprise to the general public that kids turned up their noses. What does surprise me is how schools have caved in and pretty much gone back to the prior offerings. “Eat that, it’s good for you,” carries little weight when people have access to other choices as today’s kids do.

My youngest grandkids attend a small town school with a hot lunch program. They get notice of the daily menus and if the choices aren’t to their liking they pack their own sandwich, fruit, and juice. On any given day, one, or all, of the three may carry a lunch box; no big deal.

Hot lunch is served at the elementary building, so high school and junior high walk a couple of blocks to eat. A couple of eateries downtown are far enough from school to be inconvenient options but there’s a deli at the grocery. Wise housewives time grocery shopping to avoid lunch period, because checkout lines are backed up with students buying substitute noon meals. The offerings at school seem pretty normal, from what I’ve seen; government overreach takes a while to reach the boonies. I don’t know if what kids are buying is healthy or not, but it’s interesting that they have the disposable income to make those choices on a regular basis, and that parents are ok with it.

 This is a generation used to having many options. Not a bad thing, in itself, but expecting young folks to make wise decisions without a lot of parental input is unrealistic.

One difference now, from my early years, is that family mealtime has become almost obsolete. My mother, and her peers, cooked three meals a day. We all sat down to eat together, including hired men and any salesman, cattle buyer, well driller, or neighbor who happened by. We ate what was set before us (or, in the case of some youngsters who shall remain nameless, slipped it under our plate.) Either way, we knew that no other options would be provided until the next meal, unless Mom was baking cookies and we arranged to be nearby when they came out of the oven.

We also knew to thank the cook, and help clear up; these were not so much preached, as modeled by hired men and guests. Spare nickels were rare, for all ages, and eating out was a treat that happened only when traveling. Most students ate the noon meal at home; after all, we had an hour to get there and back. Oh, and if you got caught bringing food to school, other than in your lunch bucket, detention was the penalty.

Fast forward to when Uncle Sam began feeding our kids, from milk in kindergarten to hot lunches, and breakfasts. Extracurricular activities increased, there wasn’t time to go home at noon, and consolidation kept students away from home for up to twelve hours a day. Fast food isn’t just something kids grab on the way to practice, now it’s available in vending machines on site, and Moms may get takeout on the way home from work. Everyone gets home at different times and eats alone when they arrive, if they haven’t gotten something on the way there. Government intervention and nutrition guidelines won’t change anything as long as we opt for that lifestyle.

There’s a reason why we serve refreshments after the meeting, have coffee hour after church, put on a potluck for co-workers, and welcome new neighbors with a casserole. Sharing food in a relaxed setting opens the door to communication, engenders feelings of acceptance, and builds trust. It’s interesting that these customs have survived, while we let dinner time disappear. Does it mean we value business and social connections over our kids?

When are we going to take back dinner time? It’s still supper in my neighborhood, but whatever you call it, that is the most effective weapon against the generation gap, and the means of instilling not only healthy eating habits, but conversational skills and an interest in community and world affairs. This gets harder to do as kids approach teens; even earlier than that there’s pressure for them to join in peewee sports programs and activities that encroach on family life.

My grandkids are fortunate in that there’s still an evening meal at their house. One or the other parent cooks; sometimes assisted by a youngster if it’s a weekend or vacation time. Grace includes “thankfuls;” each person is offered an opportunity to express gratitude for whatever has been good that day. Manners are required, and everyone clears his or her place setting. It’s not uncommon for one of the kids to compliment the cook while holding up a plate for seconds of a simple casserole, exotic salad, home raised steak and vegetables, or cheesecake from scratch.

It’s sort of sad that a practice which used to be the norm is now out of the ordinary. My son and daughter in law are to be commended for maintaining it, but the kids are getting older, and it’s going to be uphill from now on. Sure would be nice if society supported and rewarded standards like that, but that’s going to be an uphill battle too. Is anyone out there willing to try?