The Bridge of Love

11/4/2015       

The Lay of the Land

By Lyn Messersmith

The Bridge of Love

            I heard the song again recently on an oldies station.

Love Can Build a Bridge.

Followed by a political attack ad.

So, what are we supposed to believe? I wondered. The wisdom that follows is not my own, heaven knows, if you didn’t. But it might help us discern what’s really going on, with the politicians, and with ourselves.

“Anyone’s actions or words are an expression of either love or fear—their love or fear—and not related to me or anyone else…Our job is not to judge others but to recognize the call for help inherent in their actions.” Karen Casey

This doesn’t mean we have to love the act, Casey continues, in fact we may need to remove ourselves from the situation. She believes these two emotions give birth to every opinion and response we make. It’s as if two voices exist in our minds. We’ll know which voice speaks by listening to our words and the words of others. Attacking someone verbally indicates that we are afraid another is smarter, better, or has more, and believe that tearing them down builds us up.

“Gossip barbed with our anger, a polite form of murder by character assassination, has its satisfactions for us too. Here we are not trying to help those we criticize; we are trying to proclaim our own righteousness.” Bill Wilson

“What comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart.” St. Matthew

“Much of my fear is of looking ridiculous or finding out I’m not too bright, or that I’m narrow and small minded underneath my civilized veneer.” For Today

“Therefore, what else are we to do but bear with one another and treat each other as we would be treated in similar circumstances? That is what love really is.”Anonymous

“How shall we expect charity toward others when we are uncharitable to ourselves?” Sir Thomas Browne

“A moment to reflect on the emotional upheaval my words may cause, not only to someone else, but to myself.”Daily Reflections

            Do you wonder if any of the candidates, charities, or causes vying for our approval (read that: money) have a clue about the portrait they are drawing of themselves? If this is the best of America there are dark times ahead. 

            Queen Eleanor, a character in James Goldman’s playThe Lion in Winter, knew that mean-spirited comments and criticisms are weapons of choice, and she asks: “For the love of God, can’t we love one another just a little? We have so much to love each other for. We have such possibilities. We could change the world.”

            And we can. Not necessarily by running for office, but by running from gossip, fear, and negative comments, and putting some planks on the bridge of love. When someone criticizes your neighbor or co-worker, respond by saying that person has a nice smile, or is a good dad. Tell Granny how good her cookies were; thank the teacher that taught you to read, or your boss for giving you a job. Go whole hog and praise your mother in law! That’ll be a conversation stopper.