Gratitude Versus Grumpy

11/25/2015

The Lay of the Land

By Lyn Messersmith

Gratitude Versus Grumpy

            Abraham Lincoln is credited with saying that most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be. A friend of mine put it this way. “We all have a choice. Helpless and hopeless, or humble and helpful.” And every now and then, someone happily reminds us that wherever we go, there we are.

So what have you decided about today? You can bah-humbug all you want about the approaching season of marathon holidays, and I have certainly taken my turn in that barrel, but if I must take me wherever I go, I’d prefer better company than the Grinch.

            Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Author Terry Hershey writes that an optimist is merely someone who doesn’t have all the information. Pessimists, on the other hand, are realists who have forgotten to take their medication.

            Expectations have a lot to do with whether we are comfortable where we find ourselves. I recently complained to my cousin that retirement was supposed to be relaxing, but we seem to be constantly busy. Signed off with this: “That’s all the news from Lake Insanity.”

“We’re blessed to be able to help out our families and communities,” she replied. “The alternative to Lake Insanity is Lake Boredom, and the people I see there are paddling around in a boat called ‘Woe Is Me,’ and looking for a doctor to fix them.”

Nobody will co-sign your self-pity? Too bad. I’ve learned the quickest way to stop someone’s whining is to tell them to write a list of five things they are thankful for, and it can’t be anything they made happen. Those willing to do that end up smiling; the others go away and quit bothering me.

Some of us have a custom of asking Thanksgiving guests to say what they are grateful for. One family does this every night at supper, as part of grace. How would our lives improve if we did it every morning?

Hate your job? Say thanks to your boss for hiring you so you can put food on the table. And smile at a co-worker. Weather cold and gloomy? Be grateful for having a warm coat. And look for an extra one in your closet to donate to someone who doesn’t. Have to work on the holiday? Be glad you can do that so someone else can have the day with family, and plan a celebration when you have time off.

There are many versions of this story, but the one I heard first was told by a wise old Indian to one of his white friends. “There are two dogs inside us. One is black, and represents negative actions and thoughts. The white one represents happiness and kind deeds. They fight for control, but we get to choose the winner.” How do we affect the outcome? “It’s the one we feed the most.”

So, who is coming to eat at your Thanksgiving table?