Overwhelmed

6/15/2016

The Lay of the Land

By Lyn Messersmith

Overwhelmed

            I hear that word weekly from a friend who is moving to a smaller place after twenty odd years in a ranch style home. Sorting and tossing, saving and recycling, donating, and perhaps begging someone to take this or that off her hands. Today, she wondered how many dollars have gone out the door, to charity, or a discard pile.

            It’s a fair question, and perhaps a hard one to face, for those of us who pride ourselves on financial responsibility. The truth is that the great majority of us spend foolishly. Even those living below poverty level will buy a lottery ticket or a soda, or continue smoking.

Marketing techniques foster this habit too. Buy one, get one free. But many times, we don’t need two. Hit the post holiday sales to lay in a supply of decorations or gift wrap for next year. Maybe you have to rent a storage unit to keep all the bargains in—how is that a saving?

My friend is fortunate to have many folks offer to help with her move, and they tell her that they are learning a lesson. Planning to go through their own stash and downsize before they are dead and someone else has to do it. She’s learning too; says that she will be thinking long about whether or not to purchase something now.

I recall being very resentful when my mother moved to an apartment in town. She was one who never let a bargain go by, who bought in bulk, even long after good transportation and an empty nest made it unnecessary. If she had a motto, it was probably, “might need this someday.” But when someday came, she forgot she had it, or it was out of style, or she couldn’t find it, so a replacement was the solution. The result was that we hauled out pickup loads of unusable items, never mind that there wouldn’t have been room for them in her new dwelling. She moved another time, and by then had accumulated more stuff. Upon her death, we began all over again. In case you didn’t know, or are one of those “someday” people, this is backbreaking work, besides being overwhelming, and there’s a lot of emotion involved. Trust me you don’t want to inflict it on those who love you.

We did the same dance all over again when we moved to the home where my husband’s folks had lived all their married lives, and though I hadn’t known them for very many years, the same resentment at having to deal with other people’s responsibilities surfaced. I hate feeling that way about people who are dear to me, but feelings are feelings, and we can either be honest about them or stuff them until they come out sideways and hurt innocent bystanders.

Another woman who finds it necessary to adjust her shopping because of the economic climate has a solution for the depressed mindset that happens when the company cuts our hours or a two family income shrinks by half. No new spring styles, or vacation trip, but how about a packet of seeds to plant? You’ll enjoy the flowers a lot longer anyhow.

Go to a free concert or high school performance in your community. Take a walk with the kids and have a contest to see how many birds you can name, re-read the books on your shelf, instead of buying the latest best seller. Trade some clothes with a friend who’s your size, or shop a second-time-around store. Downsize needn’t mean deprivation, and you won’t find yourself overwhelmed when another chapter of your journey unfolds, if you focus on experiences rather than material goods. 

Virus-free. www.avast.com

0 New

Reply to all