Celebration

9/16/2015

The Lay of the Land

By Lyn Messersmith

Celebration

            “I got tired of going to funerals and seeing all the people we never take time to visit,” my neighbor said. “We should get together while we’re well and happy, and celebrate what’s good. So this isn’t really a birthday party so much as a chance to value the people who share our lives.”

            With a horseshoe competition going on in front of the barn and a volley-ball game on the lawn, it was evident that the good times aren’t all in the past. My son had brought the team and was offering wagon rides, kids were practicing their roping skills, and we old timers were content to catch up on news and recall the ancestors that married us to this community.

            With the food put aside, and tables dismantled, my family members played and sang old country music, and there was dancing in the haymow where I played as a child. That century old barn was built to last, and likely those present were too, though some of my playmates have gone on ahead.

I still know most of the places in that haymow where you can see through the boards to the stalls below, and to watch for uneven spots that might trip up a careless dancer. Just for old time’s sake, I descended the sturdy steps, wandered into the tack room, and took note of the stall where I tied my horse on summer afternoons after riding over to visit, back when we took time to do that.

I think people are hungry for old fashioned fellowship, and perhaps we’re remembering to make some of our own fun, rather than settling in front of the TV, playing video games, or being spectators while our kids entertain us with sports events. How will young folks ever learn the value of community connections if it’s not modeled for them? This summer, I’ve attended pot lucks and a couple of birthday celebrations where people’s faces were relaxed and joyful. You don’t see that at a football game.

On the other hand, a crowd isn’t required to make a celebration. Due to unfortunate circumstances and choices, an acquaintance lost literally everything but the clothes on her back. She was left no options other than asking for help and following directions. Now she has a home, a good job, her kids, a car, and even her cat back. “We had a Thanksgiving dinner in July,” she said. I made a turkey; everything you’d have for Thanksgiving, and my children and I celebrated and gave thanks.”

One family has a private celebration at the end of haying season. The table is set with crystal and flowers, and the young people dress to the nines. Their dad presents them with checks for summer wages, but more importantly, they are commended and thanked individually for the ways they have improved, and things they learned. “We want our kids to know that celebration doesn’t require a houseful of company, or an official holiday,” their mom said.

I grew up with winter card parties and summer fishing trips and picnics. Gradually, that has gone away, mostly for lack of effort. It’s a lot of work to put on a barn dance. To organize a reunion, or pot luck and street games at the old hall, in what’s now mostly a ghost town. At a recent gathering, a friend who is my kids’ age said I was missed the Seneca Reunion. He reported there was a good crowd, and that a local lady has committed to keeping it going. “I just wish more young folks would come,” Dan said. It made me wonder if maybe they don’t come because no one took them to that kind of gatherings as children. We need to fix that.

Half a dozen years ago, Bruce and I put on a shop dance, and neighbors have asked every year since, when we’re going to do it again. Then other neighbors took that on for a couple of seasons. In the days of community card parties, each family took a turn hosting, but lately people aren’t as eager to step up for things of that nature.

Gee, did I just box myself in, here? That would mean cleaning out everything we’ve put in that shop since it was built… my husband would never go for that. Well, it’ll soon be too cold, so I’ve got all winter to come up with another option.